HC Drabble Collection
by Ferryman
Summary: The following stories are drabbles that were created to be used on SGAHCChallenges on LJ. They contain deathfic, teamfic, hurt/comfort and I hope you enjoy. Ch5 Re-Written
1. Chapter 1

_The following stories are drabbles that were created to be used on SGAHCChallenges on LJ. They contain deathfic, teamfic, hurt/comfort and I hope you enjoy._

_Originally Chapters 1 & 2__ were just pure dialogue. Chapter 1 was disqualified from the h/c challenge because I posted it incorrectly on LJ and people saw it before it could be removed. Hence I had to replace it (with Chapter 2). I have rewritten these stories to suit my style more and in this case because I hate just dialogue. Chapters 2 and 3 can be found in their original format at SGAHCCHallenges on LJ. There are some great stories amongst these and I urge you to go take a look._

_Chapters 4 onwards are the 'spares' that had I written, but then discarded in favour of those used. The final chapter is something I have had in mind for about two months and when I wrote it, decided to wait and see if it would suit one of the challenges to come. As I was voted out in the second round this is no longer required and has allowed me to extend, rewrite and post here which actually makes me feel better as I can do it more justice here._

**Challenge: **LFWS #1 – Round 1

**Title: **Talking of change

**Author: **McKays Mirth

**Rating: **Harmelss

**Word Count:** Originally 500 Limit – Now 1273

**Characters: **Sheppard, Ronon, Teyla and Rodney (H/C)

**Genre: **Hurt/Comfort

**Disclaimer: **

**Spoiler: **Season 5. The Shrine

**Summary: **Rodney remembers bit and pieces of his illness. Mostly, he remembers the sense of peace, the happiness. More than that he remembers how people reacted to the dumber version of him. (Scene inspired by the first scene in Tracker, Season 5, between McKay and Sheppard).

************************

"John, Rodney may we join you?" Teyla asked in her gentle tones.

Sheppard and Rodney both looked up to see her with her tray in her hand and Ronon standing behind her. It was Rodney who responded with a sweep to the empty seats as he replied, "More the merrier."

There was a subtle bitterness in his words that they each chose to glaze over for the moment. Teyla sat down as she watched him. Placing the tray in front of her, she reached across to him to place a hand on his arm as she spoke. "It is good to see you well again, Rodney. We missed you."

"Are you sure about that?" Rodney replied with raised eyebrows, his words tight.

Teyla shook her head as her brow furrowed in confusion. She tightened the grip on his arm slightly as she locked eyes with him. Her words full of sincerity as she asked, "Of course, why would you think otherwise?"

Rodney dragged his arm out from under hers and dropped it into his lap as his gaze followed it. He gave a self-conscious shrug as he mumbled, "Well, you got to admit. The dumber version was nicer." You didn't need to know Rodney to hear the hurt evident in is voice.

Sheppard reached over and placed a hand on the table in front of McKay where Teyla's had been abandoned before she had slowly dragged it back to fiddle with the edge of her tray. Shepard ducked his head, trying to make eye contact with Rodney. "McKay, look at me." He waited until Rodney had made eye contact before he continued. He wanted Rodney to know this came from the heart. "I won't lie to you. You _were _nicer, a lot nicer. But you still weren't you. Your sarcasm… It's hard to explain, but you just weren't you and it made a difference. Okay?"

Teyla tried to put it into words, "When you were ill, Rodney, you _were _nicer, but part of you was missing. It was that part that we all missed."

Rodney moved his gaze from Sheppard to Teyla as she spoke.

He nodded gently, eyes sad. "You mean the smart part. The part that can save lives, I get that," he leaned towards her as he continued sincerely, "really I do."

He leaned back in his seat as he watched his own hand on the edge of the tray in front of him. His shoulders sloped, dejected he continued, "But, it's hard to realise that without my genius I'm happier, nicer." He looked at each of them in turn, trying to get them to understand, "I've always thought of my intellect as a gift. To find out that without my brain I'm more acceptable of others and more accepted in return. It keeps going through my mind, if it's not part of who I am then maybe it's not too late to change."

"You don't need to change." Rodney turned sharply, surprised by Ronons deep voice. Ronon only kept eye contact with him for a second before returning to his food.

Rodney blinked and then waved a hand, dismissing his words. "Yes, well thank you for your linguistic argument, Ronon. A month ago I would have agreed with you… now I think you're wrong"

"There's nothing wrong with you, McKay." Sheppard stressed sharply, anger starting to tinge his words now.

Rodney snarled at him. "Don't lie to me Colonel." He spat quietly, but sharply. He threw his arm out violently towards him, "How many times have you told me to shut up?" He directed his sweeping arm toward Teyla next to him, "Teyla, how many times have you elbowed me in the ribs?" He glanced at Ronon at the end of the table still digging into his food, "Ronon," He shook his head quickly and gave another dismissive wave of his hand, "well okay, you never do anything but then you don't have many more social skills than I do."

"Thanks."

"Pleasure." He said as he turned back to Sheppard, completely missing the sarcasm in Ronons heavy voice. "How many times have I got us in trouble with the natives because of something I've said? Who knows what things we've missed out on because I've burnt our bridges with certain natives?"

"A lot of them are just oversensitive, McKay." Sheppard said, giving a wild dismissive gesture of his own as he leant back in his chair.

"Colonel," Rodney's voice weary and the message clear. _Don't lie, don't dismiss this._

Sheppard sighed with a small shake of his head. He gave a small shrug as he conceded. "Okay, you may be a little blunt." Anger tinged his words again as he continued. "So what?" He leant forward, "I've seen you walk into a black cloud with only hope that you'd survive. You went aboard a hive ship to get Teyla back. As far as I'm concerned, you've earned the right to speak anyhow you like, McKay."

Teyla nodded along side him. "I agree, Rodney," she said, her voice firm.

Rodney's mouth thinned into a line before he responded with a glare at both of them, "Oh, so as long as I'm saving lives I can be as insulting as I like and people should just put up with me." He leant back in his chair stiffly, bringing his arms up to fold them across his chest as he continued wrapping his words in sarcasm and soaking them in acid, "Yes, I don't know why I was worried. It's not a character flaw it's a god given right."

Again, Ronons strong voice broke into the heavy silence of the table bringing everyone's attention to him. As he spoke he looked Rodney in the eye and held him there. "You're honest. When I first came here people smiled, but their eyes didn't and I couldn't trust 'em. I trusted you soon as I met you. Even when I don't like what you say, at least it's honest. I like that and I missed it."

Rodney opened and closed his mouth a couple of times speechless as he continued to look at Ronon. Sheppard and Teyla gave small, pleased, smiles at Ronons words. Eventually, Rodney responded, "Erm, honest. I don't… thank you, Ronon."

McKay suddenly sat up straight and stiff, "Wait, are you saying that if I was nicer you wouldn't trust me?"

Ronon didn't reply straight away. His head cocked to one side, still watching McKay as he thought it through. Just as Rodney's face was starting to morph into a frown Ronon answered him. "I wouldn't just stop if you were nicer, so long as you're still honest. I don't think you can do that."

Rodney's brow furrowed in thought as he processed Ronon's words. He leant forward a little as he said in a small voice, "I can try though, can't I?" The anger was gone from his voice replaced by desperation, with an underlying pleading for hope.

Ronon shrugged so Sheppard stepped in flexing his fingers on the table top he pulled Rodney's attention back to him. "If you want to, all we're saying is that you should know we don't think you have to, buddy."

Rodney nodded slowly, his eyes turned inwards as he processed the words. He focused on Sheppard and nodded again slowly. "I understand that. That… you know… well anyways." He sighed. "I think I want to try."

Sheppard pursed his lips and Teyla cocked her head slightly as they both looked at him, sadness in their eyes. But they both nodded in agreement. "If that's what you want." Sheppard shrugged. "Okay."

Silence fell between them and they all looked to the only sound amongst them. Ronon eating.

Rodney thought many things at the sight but none of them passed his lips. The first day of the newer, nicer McKay.

THE END.


	2. Chapter 2

**This is my replacement piece which had to be written during my lunch break in order to be in on time.**

**Link to original:**

**Challenge: **LFWS #1 – Round 1

**Title: **Having The Last Word

**Author: **McKays Mirth

**Rating: **Harmelss

**Word Count:** 503

**Characters: **Sheppard, Ronon, Teyla and Rodney (H/C)

**Genre: **Hurt/Comfort

**Disclaimer: **Don't own it. **sulks** Just love it.

**Spoiler: ** None. AU.

**Summary: **Char Death. What comes after and can Death really separate heroes who were destined to be together.

****************

"I can't believe she's gone." Sheppard's voice quiet, almost as if he had been talking to himself.

Rodney glanced over to him and then back to the embers in the quiet glade. He hated silence and found himself forced to fill it. Forced to say what he would normally have kept to himself. He still spoke quietly, "It's not right. Somehow, Teyla was meant to live for ever, you know? It still doesn't seem real, standing here watching her pyre turn to embers. Even at the worst times, I never truly believed she could die."

He paused. Ronon and Sheppard stood to his left, like stone sentinels. Everyone else had left, drifted away. They hadn't said anything but he knew they felt the same as he did. They couldn't leave Teyla, couldn't walk away until there was nothing left but ash carried away on the wind.

"You know, she told me once that she believes this ceremony returns her to nature. That her ancestors were in this breeze we can feel, a brush across you're shoulders is a caress from a loved one. It keeps replaying in my mind, you know?"

He watched the last of the embers burning, the white ash with fire still dancing within, the amber chasing red, chasing yellow over the surface with blue dallying in and around it.

"Death is death, there's nothing after. That's why we gotta fight so hard to stay alive. It's all there is." Ronons voice sounded loud, too loud, and angry. Anger was something that followed them all these last few days.

"I hope you didn't tell her its all mumbo jumbo, Rodney." He knew Sheppard had been trying for jovial. It fell short.

"Well, obviously, I regret that now." He hoped he managed to keep the guilt from his voice, but he doubted it. All their emotions were so near the surface these days. Pain and Anger foremost, but guilt was the nearest of all.

"At least you were honest." Ronon said, sounding distracted. Rodney thought he was just saying anything rather than return to the ominous silence where it was harder to ignore the voices inside your head.

"True, Ronon, but I still wish I hadn't said it. I wish she was right." _I wish she was here and I didn't have to say goodbye, _he finished in his head.

"You don't believe in that stuff, buddy. Remember?" Sheppard's voice was bland, answering on automatic pilot with no emotional inflections. No thoughts because thoughts were painful lately. He was still watching the embers. He hadn't looked at either of them during the entire ceremony. Where Rodney found strength in his team mates, Sheppard found that strength his undoing when it came to holding his emotions in check.

"Yeah, well I never really needed comfort as much... you know... before today." _Before I lost Teyla and can't move on. _"To think that she lives on in everything here…" _so she isn't gone, so I don't have to live without her. _"It seems so apt for Teyla… in nature." _Because she was mother nature personified. _

I would like to believe that she never actually dies … I can't imagine sitting at the table for dinner tonight and her not being there." _She's always been there. She can't just not be there._

"Is that why you've been eating in the labs since She…?" Shepard trailed off.

The pain was still too raw to say that final word, to say it out loud, to make it true. Rodney only managed to say it through sheer stubbornness and it felt like a betrayal every time he did.

He didn't really think about the words he was saying anymore, just a need to keep the silence at bay and the thoughts, anything to keep the thoughts that swirled and looped and hurt at bay.

"Maybe… I walk down hallways and all the time I'm thinking she's not in Atlantis anymore, she's not anywhere anymore and that makes everything seem wrong and... ," he shuddered to a halt, _Don't go there. _He tried another track,"She hardly ever came to the labs so it's… I can't…" Rodney couldn't find the words to describe the emotions that raged inside, changing with a heartbeat.

"… I know, buddy." Sheppard's voice small and quiet and this time filled with emotion and understanding.

Ronon's voice quieter than normal, but still loud to Rodney's ears, "She led a good life, she died a strong death. I'll miss her."

Rodney knew that Ronon's words were his belief. It would be how he wanted to die but that just made him angry. He had already lost Teyla that way and eventually he would loose these two that way. From all his emotions inside, his anger broke free and soared to the surface as he spun towards him.

"Died a strong death?!" He spat, distain clear and loud. "What is that? Some macho way of saying you should go down fighting?" His face contorted in anger, hands clenched into fists as his eyes flashed. "Teyla shouldn't …"

"Rodney!" Sheppard admonished sharply.

"… She shouldn't have gone down at all." Rodney finished sternly, stubbornly.

"She was a warrior and a leader of her people. She knew she would die like this." Ronon continued and god didn't he know when to just shut up.

"Not to me she wasn't." He said angrily, then another heartbeat, another emotion striding forward. He said quietly in despair, "Not to me…. To me she was just my friend… she shouldn't have died", _not like that_, _shouldn't have died, shouldn't have died._

Sheppard put a hand out to either side, looking between the two of them. His voice pleading and quiet as he stressed, "We still have each other. She wouldn't have wanted us to argue, especially about this. Rodney? Ronon? Please, at least not today."

"No, she shouldn't have died. On that we agree." Ronon stood tall, looking at Rodney, waiting for his response with stern eyes.

_No, Teyla would not approve. _He nodded to Ronon."Yes, well… agreed."

He looked at Sheppard and Ronon and then asked the question that kept repeating the most. "Do you think she realised how much we loved her. She knew that, right? She knew… coz, I never told her…"

"_**You were my heart, my strength."**_

"Did you…" _Yeah, right. Tell them you're hearing voices._

"What?" Sheppard asked and Rodney could tell he was having trouble tracking Rodney's rapidly changing emotions. Hell, Rodney was having trouble tracking his emotions.

"Nothing." He shook his head, suddenly so weary.

"_**You were a part of me as I am part of you.**_

"Okay, that!" Rodney said, raising a finger to the air and cocking his head to one side as he listened.

_**I will always be with you.**_

"Okay, that's freaking me out a little. Actually it's freaking me out a lot. Tell me you're hearing that." He thought back to Teyla's beliefs. "You don't think… I mean, it can't _actually_ be her… can it?"

_**If you need someone to hear you, throw your words on the wind and I will hear them.**_

"Maybe." Sheppard said, distracted. His head also cocked to one side as if listening.

"What? Maybe you hear it, or maybe it's her?" Rodney said.

"Both." Sheppard said his voice back to the bland, emotionless variety.

_**I will never leave you.**_

_What if it's her. What if this is my only chance._ Because the one thought that hurt Rodney the most was that he had never found the time to tell her what she meant to them. How she had touched each of them. How different and rich their lives were for knowing her and how different and empty they would be without her. He decided he had missed his chance once he wouldn't miss it a second time. "Teyla? …we love you."

_**I will never stop loving you.**_

Rodney's lip quivered and he gasped a broken breath and tears rolled down his cheeks and he watched as his team mates became overwhelmed by their emotions. They moved together, holding each other unashamed in their grief. The warm breeze blew around them, grazing across cheeks, drying tears.

Behind them the last of the ash drifted and eddied away.

THE END.


	3. Chapter 3

**This was my second entry – which I did not survive. (called Too Many Drugs on LJ).**

**Challenge: **LFWS #2 – Round 2

**Title: **Silent Empathy

**Author: **McKays Mirth

**Rating: **U

**Word Count:** 500

**Characters: **Sheppard and McKay (H/C) and other

**Genre: **Hurt/Comfort

**Disclaimer: **

**Spoiler: **None

**Summary: **A nurse hears a thank you that is long overdue. Called Silent Empathy because no visual or oral connection was made between McKay's fight and Ronnon's fight.

*****************************

"More Enzyme than you, Doctor McKay but we're positive that he'll be fine. He is almost through the worst of it. If you remember it gets better from here on in. It looks worse because he's fighting it on a more physical level. You were more vocal. The discomfort levels are not that different."

The nurse saw Sheppard as he glanced sharply at McKay and then slowly turned to watch Ronon shaking violently within his straps on the infirmary bed.

She heard him ask quietly, "You went through this?"

Sally tried to make herself invisible as she continued to monitor Ronon but couldn't close her ears as McKay replied. "What? Oh no. Well, not as bad as this." He shrugged as he rubbed at his wrists, although he didn't seem aware he was doing it. She saw Sheppard, as he watched him and then glancing at Ronon, made the connection to the straps that held Ronon down.

She tried not to notice Sheppard place a hand gently on McKay's bicep or hear the regret that sounded clearly in his quiet words, "I'm sorry. I didn't know. I don't think I ever truly realised what you went through."

"Well, there was a lot going on," McKay answered, his voice strangely bland, "It doesn't matter." He gave a small shrug again, but somehow it looked more like he was curling his shoulders in so the shrug looked more defensive. "It was nothing."

Sally glanced sharply at him, could not help herself. She had been there and it had not been 'nothing'. She had seen how he'd suffered when she cared for him as she was now for Ronon. To see him shrug it off as nothing angered her and the fact that his team would forget that he had done that for them that angered her more than she thought.

She noticed that Sheppard was watching her face and she quickly dropped her gaze to the monitor screen and did not look up again but she knew that Sheppard was watching her still, assessing and processing her reaction.

"I don't think it was nothing, McKay," Sheppard said quietly. She almost turned to look at them then, catching herself in time.

McKay was unusually quiet but not still, becoming jittery; he obviously did not want this conversation.

"I should have thanked you then. I'm sorry it took me so long to realise."

"I was an idiot!" McKay hissed back sharply. "I took an overdose and nearly killed myself and for what? You managed to save yourselves, Colonel, you didn't need me. It was all for nothing."

"You did it for us. The Deadalus was there because of you and it could have made all the difference. Thank you, Rodney. I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"It's what hero's do, right Colonel?" He said, sarcastically.

Sally expected a grin.

"Apparently, yes you do." Sheppard said seriously.

McKay stood in shocked silence before he gave a hesitant, embarrassed smile which Sheppard returned strongly.

THE END.


	4. Chapter 4

**My spare for Challenge 2;**

**Challenge: **LFWS #2 – Round 2

**Title: **Always There

**Author: **McKays Mirth

**Rating: **U

**Word Count:** 499

**Characters: **Sheppard, Ronon, Teyla and Rodney (H/C)

**Genre: **Hurt/Comfort

**Disclaimer: **

**Spoiler: **None

**Summary: **A nurse wonders how the team can be so strong together, can know without a doubt that they care so much for each other without showing it, without saying a word.

*****************************

While she checked on her patient from across the infirmary she found herself watching them, watching McKay as he lay still on the bed. The heart monitor a gentle beep breaking up the silence.

Carson had already told them he was going to be okay and she knew they trusted him but still they sat round his bed, holding vigil. Their concern and anxiousness bled into the room, so much so that Carson returned repeatedly to check on him, always reassuring them.

It was always the same, regardless of which one was ill. Always, more so with McKay though, but then they had seen him wake before only to have the relief snatched away from them when something was wrong such as the 'cadman' experience, the ascension incident to name but a few.

She always found herself watching them. She had experienced McKay, and it was an experience. Yet, she had taken the time to know that there was more to him because she had seen that these people cared deeply.

She also witnessed the way they comforted one another. One of them would just rise without discussion and leave, returning with food for all of them, so the patient was never alone. She found it fascinating to see them reach across and place a hand the other's shoulder, forearm or leg. The recipient would glance with a tight smile at the giver and return with a squeeze to the hand or shoulder. Mostly in silence, they would sit like stone sentinels around which ever one of them was ill.

She saw that McKay was starting to stir and focussed her attention on them intently. This was the part she still could not understand. She didn't bother to go over, they would call for Carson regardless, no-one else was trusted to look after their treasured team mate.

As McKay came back to the conscious world they all stood up, moving the food trays out of sight and putting the chairs away, shrugging off their silent cloaks of concern to great him with relaxed smiles.

Before he was even awake they would begin to tease him, testing him to get a reaction. No-one would say how they had worried, how they couldn't leave without knowing he was okay, how grateful they were that he was back with them. No-one would mention that the tense line in their shoulders never truly relaxed until they heard him respond in true McKay fashion.

They would slowly leave the infirmary without a backward glance, belying their earlier concern.

McKay watched them go and then he lay his head back to look at the ceiling, a smile on his lips. Without a word said, without an action taken, he always knew they had been there and he always knew why even if he never acknowledged it.

She had taken the time to understand why. One day, if she watched closely enough, she might understand how they always knew the others would be there, without fail.

Unyielding faith.


	5. Chapter 5

**My Spare for challenge One ****– ReWritten 24.11.08**

**Challenge: **LFWS #1 – Round 1

**Title: **Never Gonna Happen.

**Author: **McKays Mirth

**Rating: **Harmelss

**Word Count:** Originally 498 – Rewritten to 1397.

**Characters: **Sheppard, Ronon, Teyla and Rodney (H/C)

**Genre: **Hurt/Comfort

**Disclaimer: **

**Spoiler: **Season 5 – Last man standing.

**Summary: **John just couldn't comprehend what it must take to keep going for over fifty years and never give up.

****************

The infirmary was dark apart from lights over one bay and even these were dimmed. Teyla lay recovering in one bed. Ronon had fallen asleep draped across the bed in the darkened bay next to her. Between them with darkness and Ronon to their backs and the dimmed lights highlighting their features sat McKay and Sheppard.

Sheppard sat in a wheelchair recovering from his op. Rodney sat next to him watching Teyla sleep even though her face was mostly in the shadows. It was obvious he was trying to ignore Sheppard glancing over at him every two minutes.

"What?" McKay snapped.

"What?" Sheppard replied, trying for innocent.

Rodney glared at Sheppard, before answering with a beleaguered sigh. "You've been looking at me funny ever since you got back Mr. Trippy Timelord. Why?"

Sheppard didn't know if it was exhaustion and pain killers that loosened his tongue or just the unbelievable curiosity. "I still can't believe you did that. It's hard to get your head round, you know? That you gave everything, just to get us back."

"Why?"

Rodney looked angry now. See, this was why he didn't have these conversations with Rodney. Conversations like this were hard.

Sheppard shook his head in disbelief. "You stopped living, Rodney, gave up everything… for us. You never stopped trying. Even though it wouldn't affect you at all, you just never gave up. I keep trying to think of words that can say thank you for something like that and there just aren't any. Even now, you act like it's nothing."

Rodney shrugged, "It _is_ nothing to me. _ I_ didn't do anything. It was all the other me."

"Well okay then, you don't seemed surprised by what… he did." Sheppard stressed again, this time exasperation edging into his voice.

"You really can't comprehend can you?" Rodney asked, shaking his head as his body starting to tense. "You really find it _so_ hard to believe that I would do that? Did you think I would just move on if there was a way to bring you back, a way to save Teyla and Ronon." Rodney had crossed his arms across his chest now, chin up, frown. Yep, Rodney was hurt now. _Damn it._

"No, it's not that." He reached out to put an arm on Rodney's arm hoping the touch would intensify his words as he locked sincere eyes with him. "I know you'll always try," he stressed.

He relaxed his tone and removed is arm. It moved freely in front of him as he struggled to put his thoughts into words. "But there's a difference between just trying and putting your whole life into it for over fifty years." He turned curious eyes onto Rodney. "How can you act as though that isn't as monumental as it is?" _When a splinter is everything, how can this be treated as though it's nothing? _He wanted to add, but didn't.

Rodney let his arms relax into his lap and shrugged his shoulders, "It's what I do. Figure stuff out and make it work." His frown implied he just couldn't understand Sheppard's question but Sheppard wasn't buying it.

He was not going to discuss it though and Sheppard was thinking of calling it a day and pushing this into the 'Contrary Rodney Box' when he saw Rodney's aged face again and found he couldn't just let this lie.

"Rodney. Help me understand, would ya?" He looked at Rodney, and some of his concern for that older version must have bled through because Rodney's sight was flicking from one of his eyes to the other, gauging his current emotions, working out all the possible scenarios this conversation could go.

He gave another beleaguered sigh and Sheppard knew he had won.

"… Okay." Rodney looked away from Sheppard, straight ahead over Teley's bed as he continued. "I'm not surprised because… you know what it was like for me before," he glanced at Sheppard and then back again. "… before Atlantis. Everyone is different here, but it started with you and Teyla." Rodney turned slightly to watch Telya's sleeping form, worry evident in his face before turning to Sheppard with an intensely sincere expression.

"The two of you made Atlantis different for me and everyone else just followed suit. Ronon's never followed suit in his life, his choice is his own and for the same reasons it makes you three different to me. You all accept me of your own accord, and with no benefits." Rodney lifted his chin as he continued, "You're a part of me now, and to live without you. Well, its not gonna happen, that's all."

Sheppard couldn't help but smirk. He was feeling inexplicably warm and fuzzy. "… Wow". His smirk fell a little as he continued, "But you know it will one day. Somehow, we always survive but that can't always happen. One day one or all of us won't come back."

"Not going to happen." Rodney was looking at Teyla again, his voice rock steady and sure, some might say down right obstinate.

"Yes it will, Rodney." Puzzlement edged his words. He was getting a little worried as to how serious Rodney was in not accepting this.

"Colonel, you know how stubborn I can be." He turned to face Sheppard, his face set and calm, his eyes ice blue and sharp. The absolute truth rang throughout his words, "It is not going to happen."

Sheppard paused. The absolute certainty in his voice was commanding. He said tentatively. "You can't hold back death, Rodney."

"I'm working on it." If Sheppard hadn't seen the corners of his mouth twitch he would have been very scared, because if anybody could do it, McKay could and he wasn't sure he wanted to live forever.

"Okay, you're scaring me now. I don't want to spend the rest of my life as a zombie or with bolts in my neck."

A smirk flashed onto Rodney's face before leaving just as quickly. "I leave voodoo to the doctors, Colonel."

He looked at Teyla again, glancing over his shoulder at Ronon, who was still asleep on the next bed, before settling his gaze on Sheppard. "Seriously, I won't let any of you go without a fight. I can't. The idea of living without you, any of you… I won't go back to that life before Atlantis. You're stuck with me Sheppard. Never gonna happen."

"Never gonna happen." Sheppard replied assuredly, with a gentle nod and a smirk on his face.

Rodney smirked back with a small nod of authority. "Glad you finally understand, Colonel."

"Rodney?" Teyla's half whispered voice seeming to echo in the quiet of the infirmary.

Rodney leapt to his feet, making it to her side before Sheppard could move. "Teyla? You're awake? Ronon! Wake up. Teyla's awake."

Her hand snaked out from under the covers to grip his arm, "Where is Torren, is he okay?"

"Who's Torren?" Rodney replied, brow furrowed in utter confusion with underlying worry.

"The baby's called Torren you idiot." Sheppard snickered as he patted Teyla's arm. "Torren's okay, Teyla. I'll contact Keller. They'll bring Torren, once they've checked you out."

Rodney looked over beseechingly at Sheppard. "How am I supposed to know what she named her baby? She hasn't even had it a day."

"Not it. Torren." Rodney jumped a mile high at Ronons voice before spinning to confront him as Sheppard raised his hand to his radio to hail Keller. He could still hear them in the background.

"Yes, thank you for your input Ronon. Remind me again why I woke you up?"

"Because I told you I would make you spa with me if you didn't."

"Well, yes. There is that."

Sheppard shared a small smile and an eye roll with Teyla before activating his radio and asking for Dr. Keller. He believed you should never leave a man behind but it had never occurred to him that McKay of all people would adopt his belief and expand it across space and time. He still shivered sometimes when he realised how he could have been spending his last days if it wasn't for McKay.

He finished his call to Keller and leaned in towards Telya so she could hear him over the bickering. "She won't be long."

He sat back in his wheelchair surrounded by his team and knew he was the luckiest man alive, throughout space and time.


	6. Chapter 6

**My last piece which I never used due to the fact I was voted out before hand. I think it is just as well though because I would have hated to knock this down to 500 words.**

**Challenge: **LFWS SPARE

**Title: **She stopped loving him today

**Author: **McKays Mirth

**Rating: **U

**Word Count:** 950

**Characters: **Sheppard, and Rodney (H/C)

**Genre: **Hurt/Comfort

**Disclaimer: **

**Spoiler: **None

**Summary: ** Inspired by a country and western song. "He stopped loving her today."

*****************************

Rodney stood by the bed packing as Sheppard walked into the quarters. Rodney stilled and quietness was an almost tangible presence in the room as Sheppard locked eyes with him. He could see the pain and loss that suffused his blue eyes.

"Hey." Sheppard said softly. The words were inadequate but then again he didn't think he knew any words that would be quite adequate enough.

Rodney continued to pack without a word, the silence that was normally so comfortable between them becoming oppressive. Hurt radiated off Rodney in waves, almost stifling. Sheppard wanted to turn and leave, to run away so he wouldn't have to deal with the pain that was in this room, the pain that was in his friend.

To see Rodney in such raw suffering was twisting something inside and he hated it. But Rodney was his friend and he needed him right now so Sheppard stayed. Against his instincts to flee he stayed, to fair the storm that was coming.

"I came to see if there was anything I could do?" He asked lightly.

Rodney stilled again, looking at the t-shirt in his hands before he sighed brokenly. The man who never gave up had reached his breaking point and Sheppard didn't have a clue how to put him back together again. He watched as Rodney's fist closed over the t-shirt but the agony that bled into his face and in his voice as he spoke said the soft fabric felt like broken glass.

"Jennifer doesn't love me anymore, she was everything and I don't…."

Rodney's hands fell and the t-shirt tumbled to the floor as he turned away from him and collapsed onto the bed. His elbows on his knees and his face in his hands as his shoulders shook. Dry tears that didn't make a sound and somehow that was worse. Somehow the silence seemed to echo the depth of pain to a degree that sound could never justify.

Sheppard stood frozen to the spot with no idea what to do. There were no words he could find, no action he could take to make this better. He watched Rodney suffering and felt him calling out for solace. Eventually he climbed onto the bed behind him and put his arms around Rodney. Not as two men, not as leader and team mate but as brothers who knew each other indescribably he whispered into his hair, "I'm so sorry"

Rodney collapsed against him and his head fell back onto his shoulder as he opened his mouth and his grief found its voice as the sound of anguish filled the room. As heart wrenching as the sound was, it was still better than the silent and lonely agony that had preceded it.

Sheppard pulled him in tighter, trying to protect him from the pain but it was inside where he couldn't reach and where no doctor could heal. "She loves you still, Rodney. She loved you yesterday and she loves you today. She'll love you always."

Rodney shook his head. "I can't feel it. I can't… all I can feel is pain. She stopped loving me today. At 12:45 Jenn died and left only this… emptiness... and I can't…" His words finally died, unable to survive through the broken sobs that now raked through his body. Sheppard thought that if he listened closely enough he would hear the sound of Rodney's heart shattering through the sounds of anguish.

Still feeling his own grief at Jennifer's death still sharp and mixed with the empathy for his friend his tears overflowed unchecked. Atlantis had lost someone special but Rodney McKay had lost more than words could say.

Sheppard held him for a long time as their tears and grief mingled together. Eventually, Rodney gave a deep rattling sigh and pulled away from him to sit up straight. Sheppard relaxed his hold and gently let Rodney go. He wiped his own tears away with his palms as he saw Rodney do the same.

Rodney took a deep breath that rattled through his chest as he composed himself but his voice was still rough and broken when he spoke. "I have to finish packing her things before the Deadalus leaves."

"I don't think you should be alone."

"She's gone. I'll always be alone now," Rodney whispered quietly as he stood, picking up the t-shirt from the floor. He just stood there, looking at it in his hands with such utter loss on his face.

"We can't love you like she does," Sheppard said quietly, careful to use present tense, as he placed a hand on his forearm, "But you'll never be alone, Rodney."

He locked eyes with him, willing him to see that his team did love him, that he was not alone. Rodney blinked slowly and nodded. He didn't smile and Sheppard wondered if he would ever smile again.

He cleared his throat and then nodded to the frame that was on the bedside cabinet as he kept eye contact with Sheppard. "Pass me that, would you?" his voice thick and broken.

Sheppard nodded and leant over to pick up the frame passing it silently to him. Neither man mentioned the crack in Rodney's voice and neither man rushed to fill the comfortable silence that now settled around them in the room as they continued to pack away the things that had once belonged to Doctor Jennifer Keller. Who had become and always would be the life long love of Doctor Rodney McKay.

He wasn't alone and he was still loved but Jen had stopped loving him today and he would always carry the empty space with him, the space where her love used to be.

THE END.

Author Note:

I did not mark this clearly as Deathfic because it would have spoilt the twist – although it may seem obvious to some. The whole piece was inspired by a Country song and the reason I like it so much is the play on words. (Although in the song HE stopped loving HER today because he killed himself after she left him so you see it could have been worse. LOL).

Sorry, to those of you who do not like Deathfics, for having it 'sprung' on you so to speak.

I hope you enjoyed any or all of the stories here. I may add more in the future, I do not know. Thank you for watching

Ferryman.

Xx

(aka Mirth)


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